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Why do people continue living unfulfilled?

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Why do people continue living unfulfilled?

Post by rugard on Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:26 pm

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Self help books are all over bookstore shelfs, with literally thousands of different authors/experts/psychiatrists putting them out there. And yet, most people that read them still live the same. Habits are never broken, they're still overweight, unhappy, suicidal, in terrible relationships, broke, depressed, and every other problem that you can think of. So I want to know, WHY doesn't this stuff work

What is the reason that people will buy the books, read them, understand everything inside them, and then leave it on their dusty counters above the TV and never fix/do anything afterwards Perhaps personal development doesn't really work then I'm guilty of this as well. I can probably recreate a dozen self help audio programs/books I've heard if given the time, yet I never put any of it to practical use.

I got a confession to make though... When I listen to self help material, I feel good. I honestly get endorphins, I feel happier, even when I'm not doing anything. Maybe that's why people buy them, and never use them
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Re: Why do people continue living unfulfilled?

Post by real on Sun Jul 06, 2008 9:48 am

This question bothered me too for long and I found a quite elaborate explanation that provides an answer why self help (and similar stuff) does not work for everyone.

I found an interesting hierarchy that I will use as a basis for my answer to the original question:
DIKW.png
DIKW.png (18.76 KiB) Viewed 277 times


According to Russell Ackoff (...): Data, Information, Knowledge, Understanding and Wisdom. (...) He indicates that the first four categories relate to the past; they deal with what has been or what is known. Only the fifth category, wisdom, deals with the future because it incorporates vision and design. With wisdom, people can create the future rather than just grasp the present and past. But achieving wisdom isn't easy; people must move successively through the other categories. A further elaboration of Ackoff's definitions follows:

Data is raw. It simply exists and has no significance beyond its existence (in and of itself). It can exist in any form, usable or not. It does not have meaning of itself. In computer parlance, a spreadsheet generally starts out by holding data.

Information is data that has been given meaning by way of relational connection. This "meaning" can be useful, but does not have to be. In computer parlance, a relational database makes information from the data stored within it.

Knowledge is the appropriate collection of information, such that it's intent is to be useful. Knowledge is a deterministic process. When someone "memorizes" information (as less-aspiring test-bound students often do), then they have amassed knowledge. This knowledge has useful meaning to them, but it does not provide for, in and of itself, an integration such as would infer further knowledge. (...)

Understanding is an interpolative and probabilistic process. It is cognitive and analytical. It is the process by which I can take knowledge and synthesize new knowledge from the previously held knowledge. The difference between understanding and knowledge is the difference between "learning" and "memorizing". People who have understanding can undertake useful actions because they can synthesize new knowledge, or in some cases, at least new information, from what is previously known (and understood). That is, understanding can build upon currently held information, knowledge and understanding itself. (...)

Wisdom is an extrapolative and nondeterministic, non-probabilistic process. It calls upon all the previous levels of consciousness, and specifically upon special types of human programming (moral, ethical codes, etc.). It beckons to give us understanding about which there has previously been no understanding, and in doing so, goes far beyond understanding itself. It is the essence of philosophical probing. Unlike the previous four levels, it asks questions to which there is no (easilyachievable) answer, and in some cases, to which there can be no humanly-known answer period. Wisdom is therefore, the process by which we also discern, or judge, between right and wrong, good and bad. (...)

Source: "Data, Information, Knowledge, Wisdom: A Doubly. Linked Chain " by Syed Ahsan and Abad Shah.
Original article: Ackoff, R.L.,(1989). "From Data to Wisdom", Journal of Applied Systems Analysis, Volume 16, 1989.


Here is my answer based on the DIK(U)W hierarchy:

One have to reach wisdom to be able to take the right action to create the own future. What you get from books is just information your may build your individual knowledge from. With knowledge you can analyse the past but not create the future. E.g. if your read some book on making money with, let say, real estate. After having read such a book, you may believe to understand how the author has achieved his own success (you have the knowledge and understanding, thus you are able to analyse the past). But to create your own success in real estate, you have to reach wisdom!

Now the question is, how to reach wisdom. I know for sure that wisdom has nothing to do with age. However, I am not sure about the process of gaining wisdom. At present moment I believe that wisdom is somehow opened to you in alignment with your sincere desire.

Consqeuentially, people who are not helped by self help books and seminars simply do not sincerely desire to achieve the goals these books are ment to help to achieve, despite of verbal claims that they do want a life different from which they have. Thus they get the knowledge und may understand the theories, but do not get wisdom and thus do not get the ability to apply the theories to their lives.

If your desire is to help someone you may give a casual lesson to that person, without forcing and with sincere respect of this person's opinion. If you feel sympathetic or even superior to that person, your help will be resented.
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Re: Why do people continue living unfulfilled?

Post by maxdog on Sat Aug 30, 2008 6:52 pm

1. They donA t use this:
You have to be really fed up with the current situation. WHEN YOU WANT TO STEP UP, EXAGGERATE HOW BAD YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR CURRENT SITUATION AND THE ONLY WAY TO EVER FEEL BETTER IS TO IMPROVE. You hate your life that wy, this is no life, when you donA t develop you are already dead and you will get depressed and comitt suicide(exaggeration to get you to work :lol: ). Also exaggerate the benefits.
2.
You have to keep yourself under the positive influence!!!!!!!!! Why is it that the really succesful PD Coaches have red 600-700 Books because when you donA t keep the positive influence of Audio+Video+Books you get pulled back by the social conditioning of our society and you are no longer inspired, so the people who just read one book loose motivation after a short time.
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