What if you could?

Some things pop up:

1) Having not met my "best buddy" on secondary school; he turned out to be a geeky/almost cool/but sidelines personality and put me under his dumb-shit leadership; that turned me into a socially deprived individual for some time. Should have gone a lot more with my cool kids friends (which i actually had!) than I did. Stupid shit. We did some tech inventions but all in all, i hate the day we met.

2) My breakdown in 2000. Totally fucking waste of time, oportunities and health.

3) Having this vivid memory of somehow in my early teenager years having this though; "you know I want to write, maybe I should write this problems out, you know"... and then having another one; "jesus... what a stupid thing to do!"

3.1) Seeing the girls at school carrying their psychology books and then having the thought; "jesus... what a stupid thing to do!"

3.2) as a result I only got interest in self-dev a lot later in life...

4) Having another one... at teen years also at watching a sign for a psychologist, coming home from the town fair, with school bullies at day, not telling my mother and feeling ; "I should do this... I feel bad..." and of course, never saying anything about it to my mother.

5) Having platonically loved beyond bounds this amazing blonde who totally fucked me up psychologically for quite some time, AND ALSO... because her best friend was in love with ME. Talk about love triangle. So I didn't had s** with any of them either! lol. Stupid, non pragmatic and dreamer.

If I had these covered out, i could had saved some 10 years on life to useful things.

I regret i was so shy in the past, i regret i played to much video games, and maybe that i didn't got involved with girls too much, but i think it's better this way, since the last thing i want to be is average or below. This reminds me of the song by Avril Lavigne - Anything but Ordinary (i think that the emptynes in some areas of my life explains my "furious" car driving habits )

Wow this thread made me realize that my life was quite awesome up until now.
There's really not all that much I would change to be honest...


1) Making those dozen or so really humongous, ridiculous and humiliating mistakes with those hot girls back in my early years really sucked big time. My brain is still out on the question weather I should cry or laugh about my former stupidity and inexperience. Probably it would be the latter but either way I can't imagine ever looking into those girls faces again without feeling very stupid.

2) I really, really, really regret getting so interested in mysticism, conspiracy theories and spirituality during my early and mid-teens. Not reading those stupid-ass books full of cr*p and instead picking up a book that is based on actual science instead of the insane creativity of certain authors would probably have resulted in me being twice as smart and educated right now. Getting into spirituality might actually have been my worst mistake ever. Seriously.
At the very best it was a massive waste of time with the little advantage of now having first hand experience of how other "spiritual" people might tick and on what petty basis their assumptions about how our world works rest.

(Oh and did I mention that some mistakes described in 1) were the direct results of 2)? )

Well that's it pretty much.
Of cause there were a lot of painful and unpleasant experiences that shaped me but altering those would certainly have affected the way I am now - which would probably be bad because right now I'm on the stairway to heaven...

Developing Success - I was about to write a post agreeing with what you said then something hit me. If it weren't for my shyness and spending too much time playing video games, I wouldn't be where I am. I am in love with where I am and who I am now. I couldn't be more grateful for the experiences I've had minus one (a different one than what I posted)

Balance - I do have to agree with you about the spirituality BS. I wish that I hadn't taken the time to dive into that because all it did was teach me how to be more fake. In pursuit of "spirtuality," I denied a lot of "bad" emotions so that I could be what I thought was spiritual. In turn, this later very negatively impacted my ability to use NLP. Good thing I broke through that. I've discussed with others about this same thing and I've met quite a few people who feel the same on the topic.