{L_SKIP}

Selfmadevip

You are browsing the archive for Dating.

Blind Spots

11:23 am in Dating, Self-Development by Artem-Iashin

Few people can see themselves as they really are.
Let’s imagine a guy who every morning wakes up and scrutinizes over his collar and his tucked in shirt and other little details of his appearance. He gets nervous about how people will see him, think of him, and talk about him. But deep down, what he won’t acknowledge to himself is that nobody cares. He’s invisible. Nobody even notices him, let alone the details that he worries about.What if something happened that made him realize that he had been wasting all of his time and energy investing into a ritual that was completely meaningless?

He has a close female friend for whom he has a secret crush. Every weekend they get together, and he puts on his best cologne and cleans up his room… just in case.Someday he’s going to make a bold move. She always says that she wants friendship first. And she’s always complaining about how the guys that she dates don’t treat her right. But he would. He’s the nice guy she’s been waiting for.Tonight, they have a hot date. She’s been having boyfriend problems, and he’s the only one that she can trust to talk about it with. He takes her out and treats her to shopping and dinner, and then they go out for a few drinks. Then some random guy that neither of them ever met comes over and strikes up a conversation.

He tries to keep up with the conversation, but his girl seems to be focusing in on this new guy and filtering out everything he says. She doesn’t seem to hear him. So he buys this random new guy some drinks and laughs at all his jokes. The new guy even rewards him for this, by telling him how cool he is.A few minutes later his world collapses around him, as he watches his girl making out with this other guy. They come up for air every few minutes, to sip from the drinks that he bought them. And then she tells him, “I have to go home early, and this guy is friends with one of my friends and I’ve known him for a while and my house is on the way to his house so he’s going to drive me home. I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks for everything, you are such a sweetheart.”
He has two possible interpretations in front of him.
Read the rest of this entry →

Low-High Status Characteristics

9:03 pm in Dating, Self-Development by Artem-Iashin

Human, as a social being, has it’s own place in status pyramid.

And what’s important, that every place in this pyramid has it’s set of characteristics, that defines humans identity, his thoughts and behaviors.

Low Status

People with low status has such common characteristics:
1. Low self-esteem, a tendency to the formation of the inferiority complex.
2. The ability to tolerate inconvenience, discomfort, and unsafe living conditions.
3. The tendency to pessimism and depression, insecurity.
4.  Indecision, many thoughts before making decisions.
5. The dependence on the opinions of others, fear of offending someone, reflexivity.
6.  Low threshold of consciousness of guilt, shame (the feeling of guilt arises at the slightest provocation).
7. Willingness to be satisfied with the status quo, conformity.
8. No big career ambitions.
9. Low organizational skills.
10. Altruism, self-sacrifice, self-criticism.
11. The tendency to worship  to the authority, to believe them, religiousness.
12. Secrecy, introversion.
13. Shyness, compliance, modesty, shyness, law-abiding.
14. Offensive.
15. Lack of sexual success.

High Status

People with high status has such common characteristics:
1. High self-esteem.
2. The belief in its infallibility, no doubt.
3. A strong care for their comfort, health and safety.
4. Optimism, confidence in the future.
5. Vainglory, conceit.
6. Tendency to make decisions quickly, without long deliberation.
7. Ability to act regardless of the views and concerns of others, asocial.
8. Non-reflexivity.
9. The high threshold of consciousness of guilt.
10. Painful perception of criticism, difficulties with self-criticism.
11. The determination, resourcefulness, initiative, perseverance.
12. Large professional, social and property ambitions.
13. Organizational skills.
14. Openness, shamelessness, extroversion.
15. Egoism.
16. Ability to tolerate or deal with conflict.
17. Sexual success.

 

Interesting thoughts on Field testing

9:29 am in Dating by Artem-Iashin

by Tyler Durden – Real Social Dynamics