by admin
Taking Inspired Action
2:02 am in Self-Development by admin
Posted On 02/28/2009 20:04:39 by inspiration
A week ago, I was returning home in the middle of the night. It was cold and wet. The streets were empty. I went home in a fast motion. From a distance, I saw a dark figure honked down at the wall of a closed mall, looking very like a homeless person. On principle, I never give money to beggars. I also cannot say that I feel sorry for them or guilty for not giving them money. But in this case something hit me! I was inspired to help him out.
I was returning home from a customer, carrying a bunch of cache in my wallet. The thought in my head was absolutely clear: give him a 200 euro banknote, which was actually quite a part of my royalty I carried with me. I am not rich, and for me it is a considerable amount of money to give away like this. But the thought was very clear and very strong.
I started to experience similarities to a situation of feeling attracted to a girl and not approaching her despite pleasant circumstances and plenty of ideas for a good situational opener. Despite my beliefs about our connectedness, that we are all one, and that doing good to others you are doing good to yourself, and that you are able to receive more by giving more, there was a battle going in my head. I could not believe that I was seriously thinking about giving a homeless person 200 euro! What if he or another person watching me will follow and rob me? I thought about things I could buy for 200 euro. I was also contemplating why I could have such an idea, rationalizing possible motives. May be I wanted to prove myself that I am generous while doubting that, or may be I wanted to prove it to others by telling them this story later. I was thinking about giving 10 or 20 euros instead of 200, but I felt that giving less would defeat the purpose of this experience. Definitely, I did not felt sorry for the person or imagining me in his situation. While thinking all this, I went further, leaving the homeless person several hundred meters behind. But I also knew the battle was not over yet.
I stopped in amazement of the whole situation, the presumably divine origin of the idea, lacking logic, and observing the thought battle going on in my head. I was seriously intending to return. I knew that I might become nervous, thus I prepared the banknote such that I could easily take it out of my wallet. Technically, it would be much easier and safer to deposit it out of my pocket, but I did not want to let it appear like a planned action. The whole thing should appear to the homeless like it is not a big deal for me. I did not want him to be personally thankful to me or to even recognize me, in case we meet again. The shadow of the night was a welcome circumstance. I turned and went back, hoping that he will be gone when I arrive, which would give me a great excuse to keep the money. I decided to keep the story between me and the divine to exclude the possibility that I do it to prove something to others. Today, I was again thinking about this night, and felt an inspiration to share the story anonymously with the world.
When I arrived he was still sitting there. A feeling similar to approach anxiety was rising in me. He was sitting with the nodded head, looking down. I spoke to him, realizing that I could barely move my lips, because of the coldness.
- What are you doing here?
He looked up, wondering about my stupid question.
- I am homeless. (His body language was adding something like: Can’t you see or what?)
- If I give you money, what will you do with it?
- I will buy something to eat and beer.
- Well, no alcohol please.
- I am honest with you: I will buy me beer too.
- How much do you need?
- How much can you give? (Still saying with his body language something like: What do you want from me?)
After this felicitous small talk I pulled my wallet and took the 200 euro note out of it, handing it to him. He looked touched and thanked me by offering me the fist bump, which I accepted. After that I was gone, saying something like “do something meaningful with it”.
I thought about what I could possibly do better. The idea came to my head that if he would have said “thank you”, I would have to reply “do not thank me, thank God” – a saying that sounds ridiculous to an observer do not knowing what was going inside me. I am still astounded that I do not feel bad about giving my money away but am glad having done so.
I believe the main point of this experience was rather dealing with intuition than helping out homeless people. So, I am thankful for having such a strong experience of an inspired thought.
I choose to trust the divine and to let go.
I choose to act on inspiration faithfully.
Amazing action and proof of the mental ego and the divine part which is inside all of us….I have a very similar story which I will also share with you now and which has the exact structure but not the same kind of subjects:
So I was in the swiss compulsory military service lastly and earned some money there, more than I had ever earned (i’m a student and still living with my parents, therefore earning 9000 francs in 21 weeks was awesome). After concluding with the service and having earned the money, suddenly and from nowhere a thought/idea/inspiration struck me right into my mind..I was thinking about paying a complete skydiving course for my brother and for myself too (around 2600 francs each)..and at the beginning, fulfilling my brother’s dream, while I fulfill my dream too, seemed like a very pure and benevolent action to me and I was very focused on following the message of the universe, however after some minutes of positive emotions and will power for doing it, the exact thoughts as in your story started to take control of my mind “imagine how many things you could do for yourself with that money” “that’s a very expensive present for a brother and the age you are right now” “Now, when you earned some money which you can spare, you are gonna spend it immediately and even not for yourself”..and so on and so on.
I kept the essence of the idea in mind and let it be for some days without saying or promising anything…the mental struggle didn’t stop, I was being kept in this mental argument between the good and the bad, I wanted to do it because I knew that it was a message of the universe which I had to follow with faith and no ego, but the other side kept on harassing me and trying to talk me out of the apparently “crazy” thought I had. Finally when my brother came to Switzerland, in my head there were still some pieces of negativity and resistance to do it and the same hope as you had, I was expecting that it would be refused by my brother or the happening of a situation which I could use as an excuse for myself for not doing it without feeling “ego driven” or “selfish”. Even though I had still this war in my head, the feeling of it being important to follow and fulfill was much bigger, but I knew that I had to just say it and then (because he would never refuse a chance like this) it would have been said and there would be only one option: “the honesty of keeping a promise” and the ego would keep in silence, at least in this topic.
So I did, and now in one week we will be fulfilling our dream of flying and together as the perfect siblings and good brothers we are. The whole time I knew that I had to do it and that it was the “little I” who wanted to persuade me off, but I also got to know the strength that the ego can have when it has to do with helping and giving instead of profiting and receiving, which is what the ego wants.
I’m so thankful now that I followed my intuition and this message too, and that I could deal with the attacks of the mind.
And regarding the feelings I have now, I can certainly affirm that it is a feeling of doing so much good and of receiving (even though i’m giving). I can’t help looking forward to seeing my brother’s happy and smily face after the first jump off the plane, it will make me soooooo happy, because I will know that I chose the right path.
Doing right for others, we are doing right for ourselves. We have to learn to conquer our mind and to have complete control over it, only this way we can conquer our own reality. Sometimes there are thoughts which come from apparently nowhere, like inspirations, these are the ideas we must follow to the end. These ideas come from the One Consciousness.