How do I go about having a positive abundant attitude

A major part of self-improvement is that one has to have a philosophy of abundance and generally to have a positive attitude about things.

I have been struggling to understand (and implement) how one goes about having a positive and abundance attitude when someone does not like their life situation (career, health, relationships...)

My life is not terrible. But for as long as I can remember from when I was a kid (24 now) I feel like am I living in a prison where I have all the necessities for life but feel like I am trapped and don't have a say in what happens in my life (due in part of an over protective religious mother).

This is despite the fact that I had a lot of material stuff growing up - though I must admit that I never felt loved growing up and felt like I had to put on an act whenever I was home or with family (which led to my "nice guy" behavior and the resulting relationship problems it brought along due to “toxic shame”)

I feel like I am in that area where I don't like my life situation but I don't have enough motivation or "pissed off" attitude to really focus and make drastic changes. Now and then I get it after a bad day at work but the feeling lasts only a few hours.

I am not sure if this fleeting motivation could be related to the relaxation/breathing exercises that I do and the fact that I try to think positive and be grateful for everything. - I also think that I am becoming comfortable with my life situation (In the sense that I know the routine) although I don't like it.

I think this feeling is accentuated by the fact that I lived away from home for 6 years (in college) and then had to move in with my parents (been living there for a year now) and working a job where I get verbally abused on a constant basis by customers. In addition, there is a "cover you ass" attitude at work. In fact, that is what I was told on my first day on the job. I could change jobs but that is somewhat difficult with the current economic situation and since I moved to the country where my parents are - where my degrees are really not in demand.

I know that sometimes after college there is the "1 year rot" but I have felt this way for most of my life although I have had what many would call a "rich" life considering the things I have accomplished. Although I don't feel any pride for most of it and then have to "act" glad about my accomplishments and say thank you when people say congratulations.

So how do I go about having a positive and abundance attitude and still have enough motivation to go after the things I want with determination?

I feel like am I living in a prison where I have all the necessities for life but feel like I am trapped and don't have a say in what happens in my life (due in part of an over protective religious mother).

Shawn:
What are your religious believes?
Do you think your mother has engraved religion into your subconscious mind?

I am not sure what my religious beliefs are. I also think this uncertainty might be due to fear.

The one thing that I am sort of sure about though is that I don't believe that the bible is 100% inspired by God or is the "word of God". Over the last few months I have been reading and doing research trying to understand myself - one of the exercises is trying to determine what I believe - that has led me to researching the origin of the bible and the information that I have found so far leads me to believe that is it man-inspired.

In addition, the more I learn (for example the beliefs of the over 10,000 different Christian denominations and the fact the most of them believe their own interpretation in the only correct one) the less I believe in for example the concept of burning in hell.

I was brought up Christian (protestant) and come from an extended family that is Christian and quite religious - e.g. prayer warriors, praying for evil spirits to leave someone, receiving messages about things (that I have been told have come to pass or helped someone out dramatically) etc...

For the first few years of my life, I went to church every week with my family then while still at grade school we moved and due to language differences we stopped going to church .

My mom is a home maker and she spent must of her free time reading the bible which she still does.
We had daily prayers sessions with my mom during which we were taught the bible. We didn't have any choice in the matter. For the most part my sibling and I just sat through the sessions and acted along wondering when if will be over and day dreaming for the most part.

Growing up there were also lot of issues with my mom dealing with shame because I grew up in foreign countries for the most part and we always had to maintain "good standing/behavior" as not to bring shame on the family. So I was always acting "good/proper". Looking back I was a good kid at heart but I could never express what I felt or wanted to do. Even if something bad happened to me at school I would come home and say everything is fine, expect if I knew it was something my parents would hear about so I had to prepare them for hearing it.

A few years ago, we started going to church again after one of my siblings had some issues at a new school. The reasons given for going back to church were a mixture of - the bible said so, we have let the devil in, art/decorations in the house were of the evil one (sculptures and painting one can find at a gift store when on vacation), we are under the bondage of the evil one or my sibling was not reading the bible that is why the original problem started.

When I left for college I never went to church. I only went when my parents came to visit and did so unwilliningly (but ofcourse I didnt tell them that). Now that I am living with them I once again am going to church.

Shawn,

some suggestions that you can try.

Please take a pen and pad and ACTUALLY WRITE DOWN what is it that you are not happy with or frustrated about. and at the same time, find out the exact opposite of those feeling/situations that could make you happy.

If there is something that you dont like then THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING that you like. It is just not possible not to find the opposite.

Please be as honest as possible in this process. Do not go by other people's choice, ambitions, belief. Figure out what exactly YOU want. and strive to reach it.

Some of the areas that you can start working is

1) Relationship - our 85 % happiness are tied to our relationships with families, friends, colleagues and others. Try to be in the kind of environment you enjoy !!!

2) Health - Healthy body, healthy mind , age old wisdom. If you dont enjoy gym (quite normal), try to get involved in some other sports activity or charity run or something else. You can surely come up with some physical activity that you absolutely love doing and then just do it.
You dont need to have ripped six abs. But you can surely attain healthy fitness level.

3) Career : If you dont like your career then there must be a career that you like. Money should be the last thing that you look for when selecting work. Find the work that you truely love and then figure out how to make money from it.

There must be some people on this earth that you admire for their work. Write down those qualities, those area and pursue them.

Journey will be much more fun, if you have company on your way. Find someone else you is doing the same that you are doing.


And if you dont like to live the way your boss, management , company wishes, go into your own business. You will never ever enjoy the kind of freedom , sense of fulfillment in job that you get in business.


These are just some of the idea to get you started.

Please don't commit the same mistake that almost all of us make. Which is just to keep focusing on your problem until they become like himalayas.

Try to focus on solutions one at a time and fix them. In few years, life will have done a complete u-turn.

Good luck...
KM

Shawn:
Religious subjects are very delicate due to the fact that move a lot of our emotions and I feel your question because I was in the same boat.
I grew up with a very religious mother and in a very religious soroundings.
I am sad to admit that Religion (my personal experience) put a curtain in front of my eyes for a long time, it made me believe that I was being watch by someone and that my actions where either good or bad....
To go back to your question "How do I go about having a positive abundant attitude" here is my advice....
DO NOT BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT DO NOT EXIST!
There is no one watching over you, there is no dude with horns that is going to chase you around and burn you after you die, sin does not exist, heaven does not exist, hell doesn't either....
THE TRUTH IS THAT YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE! ONLY YOU!
As soon as you take that burden of your shoulders you will start seeing life from another point of view. Break those chains, free your mind.
Your attitude about life will change and then you realize that religion does not have a hold on you but the opposite you will understand religion for what it is.... Mythology.
Positivity is at your feet, abundance is at your command.