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Dear SMV members, we are making SMV more success oriented. From now on copyrighted material posts will be removed from SMV. Only discussion on success oriented topics is allowed. Thank you. Viktorados


Talking about anything that doesn't fit into other categories of this personal development forum

Moderator : developing_success



Post by stars777 on Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:59 am

Hi everyone,

I've been lurking around here for a while and eventually signed up today

I have a slight issue that's been bugging me today.

I would like to know how I can be a better person and deal with this efficiently.

I've had my own place for a while now but due to the economic climate and losing my job (duly I admit that I attracted) I am having to move back home with the family soon.

I am finding the situation a little stressful (as ive had a "bad childhood" in that home plus i will be living amongst other members of my family some who make me feel negative mostly).
This is because one of them gets drunk occasionaly, can be abusive, and the other -my mother - we hardly ever seem to get along as she has her own "issues"

I was wondering what tips/advice you can give me about surviving my time living back there. I dont want to fall into depression or become pessimistic. I remember when i used to live there, whenever i felt down i used to look at my vision board and feel all happy again... this time though I am not sure this is enough.

I was wondering if you have any other tips to help me stay motivated, disciplined and productive while I am back living there. I dont want other people to make me feel down?.
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Re: help!

Post by developing_success on Sat Dec 04, 2010 9:12 am

Well my friend, as you know, there's no magic instant gratification pill for this...
It's like asking how to build a better house, in order to do this you must learn about each piece in detail, nails, paint, wires, .... This is what i recommend you doing, learn about the most important aspects in your life to improve, try to spend more time with people that are better than you in those areas, and as little time in the house as possible.

You can rule by the power of example, be stubborn with good habits, and eventually they will leave you alone or even better, adopt some of these principles, like it happened with my parents.

Remember, and i keep reminding myself in though times, that our inner world is actually the one that makes us feel in a certain way based on our perspective, be the king of your inner world, and the outer world won't disturb you!

Best of luck!

PS: You could check Eben Pagan - Get Altitude, Wake up productive, David DeAngelo - Man Transformation (deep stuff), Anthony Robbins - Personal Power II, etc. and of course about business, focus on making money to be free, to have more options in your life
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Re: help!

Post by bennyhinn123 on Mon Dec 06, 2010 8:45 am

Hi stars
I used to feel this way too since ive been away for my studies and visit my family once in a month or so.though i dont have a father who drinks or a mom who has "issues", i have had issues with my parents since they were and are still a little bossy.for 3 months or so i practised the release technique of lester levenson(also called the sedona method). i went home and stayed with them for a week. during this time even though there were issues from their side i hradly felt any tremors.i was so calm and caring that their egos had to fall apart:-) has been around 2 months since thenand my family is far more harmonious than it has ever been.....things have begun to fall in place and i would credit the technique that i used relentlessly on myself.......thanks to lester i am happier and lighter than ever.

one of the first things i would suggest to u is to love ur own self unconditionally .then love ur family unconditionally.this may appear like a silly advice but believe me ur world be upside down when u can do this......
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Re: help!

Post by natebunger on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:28 am

Hi there, this can be a challenge, you right.

I have had similar situations in my life and here is what I recommend.

Use this period as a time to take your life to another level. Your going back home, your going to be saving, I assume whatever money you create, so it can actually be a very positive thing.

I am not sure if you are a job type person, or more of a entrepreneur minded type person, but whatever the situation, make it your sole focus to get back on your feet as quickly as possible.

If it were me and the situation were really negative, I would make it a point to simply dissapear for the day while focusing on moving myself forward. For example, I work online. If I were there, I would wake up early and slip out the door and head to the nearest cafe to begin working for the day.

I would take a break and go to the gym in the afternoon, and then take salsa lessons at night or some other extra cirricular activity that you would like to persue. The idea is to busy yourself with getting your life back on track and building up your self confidence. If being in the household detracts from either one, then you simply need to remove your self from that situation as much as possible.

Furthermore, in regards to dealing with the people in the house, remember this: you train people how to treat you.

I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend a book called "Pulling Your Own Strings" by Wayne Dyer. It's all about not letting people victimize you, and refusing to let people play with your emotions.This book helped me a lot. I think having any type of "guide book" that can help you get your mind in the right place before you head back into this situation will be beneficial. It doesn't have to be long, in fact short and punchy is probably best.

Here's the biggest secret about being in negative situations....They all create excess energy, in fact many many great achievements come out of people who have been in negative situations. They simply get so sick of the routine that they desire massive change.

Use this extra energy and funnel it into a new positive direction. Revel in the idea of making a completely new life for yourself.

Remember, when people get you down, success is always the best revenge :)
I work online as a life and business coach while traveling the world. I love my life and helping other people fall in love with theirs.
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