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Deep Challenges

In this self improvement forum we help our members who search for mentor or go through challenges during their personal development

Moderator : developing_success


Re: Deep Challenges

Post by serpient4 on Mon Oct 10, 2011 12:23 am

The most important thing I am suggesting is that you constantly flood your mind with positive goal-aligned visuals, self-talk and emotions (use all five senses when you do this: Visual Auditive Kinesthetic (touch and body feelings), smell and even taste.

When you think about being a part of your childs life then imagine holding him or her up. Feel the weight and warmth on your back. How you are holding his or her feet and where he/she is holding onto you. Hear how the voice of your girl or boy sounds (like when he or she is calling for you). Smell from your kids hair the smell of your own flesh and blood. If that makes you cry because you "know" that in your current situation this is not an option then release all the feelings you have about it. Write down your beliefs as wo why this is not possible right now (too little money, you must care for your dad, etc.). Then next to them write why these beliefs are not true (if you cannot find a reason then just invent one as to why this is not true). Try it even if it sounds a bit ridiculous. Also you can get a feeling for how these beliefs make you feel (for example stuck, optionless etc.) and release those feelings. This is very important because these beliefs and attached emotions are a part of your overall being. You carry them into every conversation and situation. Thus they work through you.
When you change them and let them go you make room for the things you desire and release those you do not.

Do this affirming and visualizing often - best every day either after going to bed or getting up. Don't sweat the releasing part and be truthful to what you really feel and what doubts and other feelings you are holding within yourself.


I think your desires are very strong and this is part of the reason why you are suffering (because you are torn between them and your perceived inability and stuckness). This state of being torn apart uses up a lot of your energy.

Do not suppress them with false logic and reasoning. Don't put yourself in a cage. Rather set them free through constant focus and releasing what comes up.
But also be careful that you do not get obsessed. At the same time you visualize having your goals it is very useful when you exercise detachment. I do this by trusting that there will be a way to achieving what I want. Wheter you trust "the universe" or "god" or your own subconscious does not really matter. Just be able to let your desire go and trust that there will be a way. Maybe not today or even tomorrow, but the day will come. Probably a lot lot sooner than you think.

Also it is true you must not lose focus. Accepting your current situation is key to moving on though as I said earlier. Do not resist it because by resisting you impregnate your mind with "negative" outcomes. These live on in your body and you carry them around. You do not want to do this. Instead carry the love and satisfaction that is connected with the attainment of your desires in every situation and conversation with other people. Believe that it is possible and you are going to get there. You need to be able to do this especially when your present is really giving you hell. This is really key. Accept what is now without the blink of an eye (or even blink with both eyes and cry but finally arrive at acceptance) and keep your focus on already having what you want.

What I mean here is: do not be influenced by external events. When you have a big customer and he turns you down for whatever reason: accept it as fast as you can and remind yourself that it is immensly important with what kind of content you feed your mind. Take the time and affirm that you already have what you want - especially after things have happened that might suggest the opposite!


I’ve left my child, ex-wife & father issues out of this to concentrate on the business aspect of this. I do have to say that the rest of my life and what I’ve been through has effected how I think and do things and it’s not always easy to change that.

I think your personal feelings and issues totally affect you at your job and ability to make money. I can understand why you believe but must also say that I do not agree with you that money is the solution.
I think the solution lies within you and within the world you built in your head (your concepts of WHY things happen, WHAT you are capable of, etc.).

Another important thing that I have come across is that if instead of focusing on having our end-goal fulfilled we focus on the means to getting to an end our motivation is inhibited. I am not saying intermediate goals or taking steps to something big is bad. But if you want to become a skillful musician who really can express emotions in his playing and you start to solely focus on developing technique (there are quite a few people out there doing just that) then this might not bring the results you truly want. You have gotten sidetracked to a small part of the solution. This I think is similar to you focusing on money. Money is part of the solution - but like in the example of the musician probably not the solution in itself.

This is because having money is most likely not your REAL desire. What is closest to your heart is being there for your child or living at peace with having all the bills paid.

I think it sometimes is dangerous to use money as a sole "goal" instead of something to keep track. Focusing more on your real desires and how good it feels to have them fulfilled while releasing resistance to the now and also releasing from your desires themselves (practicing detachment while at the same time continually visualizing them and feeling as if they are already met - this at first feels a bit paradoxical until you get used to it).
This sends the right message to your subconscious and creates a you that is in alignment. It makes you ready to see and experience those things (if you want by improving your overall well-being, your ability to focus, your ability to have satisfying interactions with other people, your ability to make wise decisions). This happens because the negative emotions you have felt are having less and less grip on you.

Again I would recommend a combination of first releasing all the negativity you can find (really try the sedona method it works wonders. I can also describe it again for you if you want or answer some questions you might have. I am not a trainer or something - I am just using it myself quite frequently at the moment).

I'll include a link at the end. You can also find quite a few things here on selfmadevip. Although you might need a program like "JDownloader" if you want to comfortably download larger resources (consisting of many single files and links to file providers).

We must not let ourselves get sidetracked and keep in mind why we started moving/changing in the first place. This ensures that our motivation is lasting.
We should focus on goals which lie BEHIND our desire for money. Because ultimately money is most likely not our real goal.

In your day to day life accept your current circumstances totally. Do not resist them. While doing that however keep reaffirming and putting your focus on your goals about which you should also practice detachment.
Does this sound hard? It really isn't.
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Re: Deep Challenges

Post by serpient4 on Mon Oct 10, 2011 12:41 am


- Career change? - (this is a big one) I’m over 50, burned out on sales, don’t have many transferrable skills, and have not found a solid direction towards a new field. Since my life went in some tough directions I’ve done some self help reading, much of it says to be truly happy in life your career should be your core passion. My love is music, not a solid choice for a new direction for a guy going through a divorce induced midlife crisis. You are right, I already have been making changes changes in my mind, but I have a lot of anxiety that I haven’t found a new career path to start walking.

I see. Your situation sounds quite hopeless.

No seriously:
As a salesman you have quite a lot of transferable skills!
Being able to confidently and effectively communicate with other people is immensly important nowadays. I guess it now is even more important than it ever has been. Also when you are a musician. I do believe that ones career should be his core passion.

Again on this topic you should release all the anxiety and everything that is blocking you up. I cannot recommend the sedona method and getting into close contact with your own emotions strongly enough. At first it really hurts - but when you keep at it you can totally transcend the pain and negative emotions. And behind the wall of emotional blocks and past pain and grief there lies a whole new world of freedom to act in ways you never thought were possible for you. Also to feel in ways you haven't felt for a long time.

With the help of releasing and some other tools I have come across I could totally change the relationship with my mother and resolve my asthmatic condition. I wouldn't say it was easy. Getting in touch with things (feelings, experiences, thoughts) we have stuffed down sometimes is quite painful. But the peace and emotional freedom it gives you outweigh the negative sides by a hundredfold. It totally was worth it for me - investing the time in learning how to do it, being honest with myself and working on it with conviction and dedication.

I think these beliefs and feelings you might have about making a career change are ultimately holding you back and blocking you. It is these beliefs and feelings you hold about yourself and about your options that you must dissolve in order to get moving. You might think that outer circumstances (your age, the musical climate) are holding you back - but in reality it is yourself.

Do these excuses and the fear really protect you? What are they protecting you from? Sure you could be following the musical route and then you have nothing. You are homeless. You have nothing to eat. (If you are afraid of this then thats another perfect thing to let go of).
I think the "fear" that is protecting us and comes as a spontaneous jolt of energy is different from the fear our egos hold. How often did a situation you feared and mentally projected into the future really come into existance?
All that fear is are mental projections of things that are only existing in our mind. Never does fear exist in reality - because in the present moment there can be no fear. Only when we dwell in our thoughts fear can manifest.

How does being afraid of making a career shift into music (for example) help you?
Does it protect you from anything? Who can say you will be worse off?
Right. Only your mind can. So if you believe it and with that belief in mind go down that route (being filled with fear) you will most likely manifest it. Because it is what you are programming your mind with.

But I am sure there is a way for you to life your core passion and at the same time make plenty of money. You just have to really believe it. Everything starts with believing. How do you think all "big" things and projects - for example corporations started off? (Like microsoft or apple for that matter). Without one person having and then believing in an idea, nothing happens.
This is how it starts.
You need to clear your vision from all doubt and fear (you can also use the sedona method for this) and make it shine bright in your mind.
Only when it shines bright in your mind and you can almost feel it buzzing all day long you can watch it translate into the "real world".
First the doubt in your mind must be gone. You must be totally certain and believe. Then you let it go and detach. Then hold this state of already having it, being certain that it already is yours until it actually manifests.

When I am down it really helps me to watch people who inspire me. I for example really like this speech of Steve Jobs:

If music is your core passion what excuse is there not to follow?

The possibilities are quite literally endless (in whatever we do). In autumn when the leafs change color and in the wind, one drops from a tree. Do you know how it will fall and where it will land?
I think we humans are like leaves. Only that we have a lot more choice as to where we are going. It is like we are controlling the wind.
If you want a way to be there you must belief first that there is one.
If you do not belief then you will not see it even if it is pinching you in your cheek.

This is how our mind and brain works - we only see reflections and proof of what we already belief is true or at least similar to what we already believe. This happens because otherwise we would be totally overloaded. Our mind continually feeds us back those things we think about and belief in. It automatically creates the proof. I think it does this by highlighting to us what is already there. Like when you look into the vastness of space through a telescope - you will only see the spot you are pointing that thing at (and of course only as far as the telescope can magnify).

A person who beliefs in god will see god in everything. The more he beliefs in him, the more he will see him. A person who beliefs in the good in people will find the good in everybody he meets. The reason why I suggest affirming and thinking about your goals in an intense way is because by doing that you can rewire your brain to give you different "input".

I always imagine the present moment (especially when we are out like in the city but also at home) to be full of stimuli. For example right now while you are reading this there is a whole lot of things going on you are not even aware of.
The feeling of the chair you are sitting on, the quality of the air in the room or space where you are, how your eyes feel while reading the text on the screen, sounds all around you, how your left big toe feels, thoughts that are running parallel or alternating with reading or are somewhat in the back of your mind (things you are planning to do today or in the next time) etc.

Perceiving all of this at once would totally blow us apart. This is why the conscious mind only allows a very small part of "reality" to enter our mind. I think our subconscious has control of WHAT part(s) of reality it lets in.
If you are for example looking for a birthday present for your son or daughter you will notice all kinds of things that you have not noticed before. It is not our conscious mind that is doing this task - our conscious mind is pretty limited in what it can do (compared to our subconscious).
These things have been there all the time - but you had no reason to notice them. The same goes for holding fears or not believing that something is possible. For example if you are afraid of making a career change. If you do not believe in there being a way then your subconscious has no reason to show you any opportunities that might already be existing right in front of you.

By shaping what you deem possible and what you believe to be true you shape your feelings. This sinks down to a deeper level after some time and forms a belief about how things ARE. Your subconscious then goes on to give you proof of that belief and perceived reality of yours or similar things because this is how it supports and works for you.

This mechanism can be of tremendous help or sometimes feel like it is a hindrance. Still there is no sense in fighting how the mind works - one can only work with it and not against it.
I hope these concepts are beginning to make sense to you. My goal is not to give you some kind of dogma - this is merely a model of how I feel some things in the world work. I find this model to be far more empowering than the old ones I held (which were pretty similar to yours as far as I can say from here).
In the end it does not matter what you believe in - as long as it empowers you and does not take options away from you. Always aim at increasing your options in your behaviour and your life.

- Music - I’m too old to slug it out in the clubs all night and be sharp enough to perform at my day job at 8am. Being a lead guitar player, and that not being part of the musical climate right now, I’ve had to change my game there and have become more of a songwriter. In a tough situation now, my recording unit brokedown and I have no funds to replace the equipment. Although it’s just a hobby I try to sell songs, I’m at a standstill right now.
(*I think the advice you gave on different strategies might be good apllied to how I try to promote my music, but again not a part of my life I can spend a lot of time , money, or effort on right now)

What I wrote was not intended only for your musical efforts. It was intended to serve as a stimulus to make changes in you all over the place. Not just in one area. Although you might want to start in one that suits you. I think if you really want to be happy and have lasting satisfaction you have to do more than just "find a good job that brings more money" or something like this. I am sure money will come but more as a sign of proof in the "real world", that the changes you have made in your mind and world are taking effect.
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Re: Deep Challenges

Post by serpient4 on Mon Oct 10, 2011 12:42 am

Also have you tried recording in a DAW like for example REAPER
and getting your guitar directly into your computer with an audio interface?
This might be a lot cheaper than the way you used to do it (also because you at first can use pirated software and nobody will notice or be harmed).

Also there is dedicated amp simulation software you can use. You can either go in with a neutral audio interface through Line In or get something dedicated like a Line 6 POD

Amp simulations are getting better and better. Also you can change the sound of something you have recorded by changing the amp simulation (it only records the clean signal from your guitar and then translates it through software to sound like its coming from an amp).

Here is a promo video of Line 6

There are quite a few products out there. One thing I can not recommend is StealthPlug as I own it and am not very happy with the quality. Although my e-bass has awful pickups which might be responsible.

I could also send you mine but I think the postal fees would be almost as high as purchasing a new unit (and it is rather an option to try out the concept of going directly into a computer).

I’ve left my child, ex-wife & father issues out of this to concentrate on the business aspect of this. I do have to say that the rest of my life and what I’ve been through has effected how I think and do things and it’s not always easy to change that.

Yes I know it is not always easy. This is a reason why I am writing so much about a new model of how to interpret things and am endorsing the Sedona Method. Change does not happen on its own but we can make the process a lot easier. I am trying to help you with that. Also don't you agree that changing for the better is totally worth it? I could not look myself in the eye right now if I had not made some changes about me in the past and would not be working to improve right now.

However much or little time we have left we should really make the best of it. A big part of this is also being content and happy with what we have and not being too attached to the outcomes of our pursuits. Which does not mean that desire is bad - still I think the feeling of NEEDING something can be _very_ counter-productive.

As for making the best of the time we have:
This also is a reason why I wrote about the Gratitude Journal in my first response. By doing something like that we instantly shift our focus from being stressed out or unfulfilled (if we felt like that before and I do often notice myself feeling quite sub-optimal) to things we can feel grateful for and which do make our world feel whole.

When things are coming up which are not yet "true" then you can still write them down. For example you can write that you are grateful for being able to have peace of mind because you can pay all your bills. Or you can write down how happy you are that you are seeing your child so often and living near it and that a way opened up although you have been in a dire situation. Or how you are happy about making music again and having a working recording setup and enriching other people's lifes with the music you create.

This is not lying - it is simply programming your mind with what you want instead of what you do not want.

This is my full take on your situation and everything I can think of that might be of help to you. I have also sent a copy to your e-mail address as it might be easier to read. If you have any questions or something where I can help you with don't hesitate to write me.

Also have I said that I really like the wording of your Thread "Deep Challenges" :)

Best wishes,


These are some older recordings but the quality is very good and you can see the method in action. Also

To download torrents from the internet you need a program like this one:

You can then open the .torrent file with this program and it will download the file to your computer.
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